An Open Letter To My Son On The Day Before His Wedding
An Open Letter To My Son On The Day Before His Wedding
This is a letter to my son that I wrote the day before his wedding day. There were a few things I had to say to him before he walked down the aisle.
Oh, my boy, did you think for a moment you’d get through this occasion without a letter from me? 😉
I’ve been trying to write this for months but then I start crying and have to put it down. But it’s crunch time now. The day before your wedding – so the tears will just have to flow as I type.
I’m not even sure where to begin. How do you sum up the years with the joy of your heart?
I’m going to shed quite a few tears over the next two days. They’re a mix. A mix of sadness that one of the greatest parts of my life has come to an end – mothering you. But also a mix of joy. I’m so proud of you! As a mom, my job is literally to work myself out of a job and watch as you move on to start your own family. Despite my very flawed parenting abilities, you’ve turned into a pretty awesome young man.
I hope you never grow tired of hearing me say, “I love you.” When I say those three little words they speak volumes. They mean:
- I’ll ALWAYS love you.
- you can’t do anything that would change that.
- I may be done “mothering” you but I’ll never stop being your mother.
- I can close my eyes and see you sitting on the living room floor with all your Legos and Hot Wheels scattered around. Yes, I love you comes with a flood of memories. (I miss those days.)
- I can open my eyes to see you today – a young man I’m so proud of and extremely happy for.
- a lifetime that’s unfolded before me and one I’ve had the honor to be a part of.
This girl you’ve picked… I can’t think of anyone who could be more perfect for you.
Since you were born I’ve prayed about this day – God answered my prayer. Her name is Carly.
I miss our late night long talks. So much. But those hopes, dreams, complaints about your day, etc., are now meant for late-night talks with her.
Don’t let anyone tell you marriage is 50/50.
It’s most certainly not. You have to give 100% to your marriage.
Don’t think for a minute you’ll have a happy marriage if you don’t stay in God’s word and make prayer a daily part of your life.
Pray with and for Carly daily. Hold her hand and pray for her out loud. Let her hear that you petition God on her behalf.
Do you know the verse in the bible about wives submitting to their husbands?
I bet you like that verse. A lot of guys like to tease their girls with that one too.
But I want to focus on the verses that follow.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. Ephesians 5:25-30
That’s a tall order son. It’s not a job to take lightly. It requires a lot of you. Things like:
- Sacrifice – you will find yourself in many situations where you’ll have to set aside your wants for what’s best for Carly.
- Grace – she’s not perfect, and neither are you. Forgive her when she messes up and draw her right back to you.
- Gentleness – lead her with gentleness and put aside any harsh attitudes.
- Compassion – when she shares her heart with you hold it with compassion. Always look at how life’s trials affect her – regardless of the fact that it may have affected you differently.
- Comfort – be her shoulder to lean on. Embrace her and wipe away her tears. Be her rock.
Although the verse says to love her as Christ loves the church, you’re certainly not the Son of God.
You’re the son of two very flawed humans so there’s something else you’ll have to do.
Humbly admit and apologize when you’re wrong.
I’m not going to be the first one you turn to anymore.
So don’t come to me before you go first to God and second to your wife. I’ll always be here to support you, but I’m way down the list now. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. God’s ideal is this… a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. (Matthew 19:5)
Yep, hard for me to read but it’s true and it’s God’s perfect plan. Carly comes first. Before us. Always. I know you’ll always love us and we’ll always be close, but she is your priority.
I hate to say it, but you can’t come home if you’re in a fight.
Your job is to stay and fix it. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.
Austin, here we go. Life changes from this moment on – and you’re ready for this wild ride called marriage.
My love forever,
Mom
